tucson

Tucson is a weird town.

First the good part: it was over 80 degrees here on Christmas day. Rusty and I drove around town with the top down, we ate breakfast out on the patio, and we went and hit golf balls on Christmas day at the local golf course. That's just insane. It's hard to understand that it's actually Christmas when you're sweating in a t-shirt.

Also, I got a harmonica for Christmas. I'm going to be annoying people for weeks with it as I try to learn to play. My grandmother gave me a can of beef broth for Christmas. She's not quite right in the head.

The bad part: I know I rant about this every year, but Tucson drivers make me want to start killing people.

There's an unwritten law here that you have to drive 5 miles below the speed limit, no matter what it is. That means that if you're on a three lane, straight road, and the speed limit is 45, you're going 40. I can't even get around people because EVERYONE drives like that.

And the worst part is that drivers are really "sticky". What does that mean? It means that if the speed limit is 45, and one person goes 30, EVERYONE goes 30. So you can be stuck on a three lane road, driving through the desert with nothing around you, going 30 miles an hour, screaming and pounding your steering wheel.

Rusty and I call it "driving like you're just waiting to die", which is what it seems like a lot of people around here are doing. I swear to you right now, when I'm 70 years old and driving around, I'm still going to be going fast, because going slow is for freaking pussies. I want to GET where I'm GOING, not cruise along for several hours in awful traffic. Gah.

Yeah, so that's my rant. Tucson, speed the fuck up, or I'm coming after you with pointy sticks. Or better yet, I'll take your medicare and blow it on hookers and booze. Or I'll cancel Matlock. God damn old people.