smile through the pain

A naked, samurai sword-wielding martial arts expert screaming, "I'm God! I'm immortal" hacked his wife to death yesterday in a blood-soaked Bronx rampage, police said.


"You know, son, when I was in Nam, I fucked gooks like your daddy right in the lung tissue.", mutters Wesley Clark.


"When boarding a plane, dropping off the kids with the nanny or watching a 10-wheeler careening down the highway, the last thing you want to worry about is whether the pilot, nanny or driver has been imbibing something stronger than coffee ... The wireless patch is placed over four tiny holes made in the employee's skin, through which small samples of fluid are continuously tested. The test results are then transmitted to a receiver."

Welcome to the future, people. Every right you surrender brings you closer to the brink.


Gore fucks his old running mate Lieberman and hops in bed with another man.


And finally, for your surreal tech gadget of the day, a portable USB storage device shaped like a freaking rubber ducky: