dial-a-lesbian, five inch nails, and big boobs

Looking for christmas gifts for your family and friends? Here are some ideas, from me to you. That's right, Tobin looks out for you. Tobin loves you.

Have a lesbian call your loved one. You can choose from several popular themes, including "bull dyke", and "transgender lesbian". You can't lose with this one!

http://www.lesbianphonecall.com

Also, nothing says tasteful quite like your very own Jesus Nail Ornament! How better to savor the love of your lord Jesus than to send one of your friends a memorative five inch nail, something like the ones that impaled Jesus to the cross? Tacky? I think not!

You could also buy your loved one some shares in a drug company. No, I mean a real drug company. Some guy is trying to start a publically traded medical cannabis company. He should try to get the symbol POT. There's only a few little things standing in his way, like the fact that what he wants to do is still illegal.

I found another amazing gift online, but I can't freaking post it because I'm getting it for my brother. You hear that, Rusty? Oh yeah.

So I leave you with this. Women with big boobs are smarter.