riddle me this

Dear Everyone in my Office,

What could possibly possess you to come stand in my doorway for 20 seconds, staring at my officemate's empty chair, sigh and fidget audibly, and then when I continue to ignore you, ask me "Where is Molly?" (Names have been changed to protect the innocent). Seriously. What could possibly be going through your pea-sized brains? You have to know, from repeated experience, that no one EVER knows where their officemate is, if they're not at their chair.

A rat generally won't bite a piece of electrocuted cheese more than once or twice before learning his lesson. I'm considering getting a high voltage tazer and applying it to the genitals of anyone performing the aforementioned action, and seeing how quickly they learn. Maybe I'll print up a chart on the wall outside my office, and you can all compete to see who the fastest learner is. At the end of the week, I'll give the winner a cookie.

Fuck you,

Tobin