How my friends entertain themselves

Ah, see the chaos I miss by moving out of Pittsburgh?

I got an email from Kevin today, containing this gem of a story:

"You know what Kumar and I have been doing? We figured out
that they have free booze at art gallery openings, so we've been
going to them every week just to get smashed for free. We've only
been kicked out of two so far, but we're working on upping that score.

We've made a game out of it. Since everyone at those things is full
of shit anyway, we've decided on making a contest out of
oneupmanship. We make up stories beforehand about how impressive our
lives are and we try to keep all the details straight while we
schmooze with the artfags and pound down the free wine. Last week,
he owned a beauty salon in Los Angeles and I worked for the embassy
in London. We had everyone sucking our cocks until Kumar went
apeshit and started insulting random people and breaking things. The
gallery's owner asked us to leave and some of the patrons
were threatening to call the cops. Fuckin' good shit."