I was re-reading Pattern Recognition tonight, and upon seeing Gibson's repeated use of Google as a verb, I decided to google myself, which I haven't done for a few years.

The results were interesting. For one thing, the top match isn't this blog. The top result is a dead link to a paper I wrote on "Hypermedia Aided Literacy" for a course in college. I don't get that. I thought google did ranking by links, and I highly doubt anyone linked to my paper, especially since the damn thing isn't even there anymore. You can go get a cached copy if you're curious, but I wouldn't recommend it. If you really love me, you'll link to this blog somewhere, so that stupid paper of mine will get bumped off the freaking top spot. Come on, you know you want to.

Second link was my blog, no big surprise.

Then we have a couple archived posts from me on different places. I know a couple years ago you could find some posts I made to usenet on some conspiracy boards, but those are apparently gone now. All that's left is:

Me being angry on an IETF list.
Me being angry on a Gibson list.
Me being helpful on a DHCP IETF list. (boring)

We also have this picture of me, from a class at CMU.

I've apparently made it into a couple people's quote files, with such memorable things as:

"Jason Weill is my bitch." -- Tobin Coziahr
I would find burning my individual rectal hairs out with a zippo, nicking myself countless times from head to toe with a straightrazor, and then diving into a vat of salt more pleasant than what I went through today.
-- Tobin Coziahr, about Online Registration
"My signals aren't mixed at all. I want you right here, right now, on this SPARC station."
-- Tobin Coziahr
"People do all kinds of fucked up things, that doesn't make them animals. Animals don't commit tax fraud, become serial killers, get in car wrecks, or write goth poetry."
-- Tobin Coziahr
It's just like asking why guys like boobs, fast cars, guns, explosions, monkeys, pirates, and Nixon. We just do.
--Tobin Coziahr, 12/00

I'm expecting my Pulitzer any day now.

And for the weirdness category, we have two entries. One is the fact that only one of the Shirley 19 Chronicles made it, even though they all contain my name. Maybe this is because someone linked to it?

Last but not least, and the strangest of all, we have the minutes from a Board of Education of Rockville, Maryland meeting on December 13th, 1994. This one confused the hell out of me until I did a search, and found on page 34 that the President of the board had announced that I received a 1600 on the PSAT. You know what makes that even more weird? Mrs. Gordon, the President of the board, is the mother of the girl I was dating in high school, and I had no idea until just now that she was the President of the Board. Ah, google. You learn something every time.