So, I just got an email from my mom that she's going to Mcdonalds for McRib. That woman better not be toying with me.

For the uninitiated, the McRib is this McDonalds sandwich that's their equivalent of a cocktease. For some reason, about once a year, they bring it back for about 15 minutes, and you have to run into the store and browbeat the mouthbreathing employees into giving you as many as you can carry, and then they disappear until next year - when the McRib sticks its head out of the McDonald's headquarters and everyone waits to see if it sees its shadow.

Oh, some may mock me, but the McRib is fantastic. McDonalds employees fear me, for I prowl restlessly outside their buildings, waiting to pounce. They eye me uneasily, like an old western, but I won't blink first. Oh yes, I'll have my McRib again, and those savages can't get between me and the saucy goodness, and faking a child's grasp of the english language won't help you escape my wrath, employee. I don't know if I should call and ask them if it's there, or if that will give them warning that I'm coming, so they can pull it off the menu by the time I arrive.